Bravery and Fear

It is the end of 2014 and I did not achieved anything this year all because of I do not know how to cope with feelings. I rushed into making decisions and goals based on very uncertain relationships. I took love too seriously. I need to re-plan all of my route which I did not follow since the beginning of the year. I want to start growing again. When I decided to grow again, there is another voice inside my mind. It says:'Why bother to grow? There won't be anyone by your side when you reach your destination.' I was afraid that no one is going to be by my side when I get what I wanted and I ceased to achieve. That's when I remember a story: a grandpa is telling about the battle that goes inside people to his grandson. 'There are two wolves constantly battling inside people's mind: one is good and one is evil. The bad wolf represents anger, jealousy, self-pity, greed, arrogance and all of the bad attributes while the good wolf represents joy, peace, love, hope, kindness and all of the good attributes.' The grandson, after pausing for a while asked: "Which wolf wins?" and the grandpa answered: "The one that you feed." When I first heard of this story, I do not really feel what does it mean until now. I need to feed the good wolf and starve the bad. Only that I will grow. The challenge is to kick start and stay consistent with it.